Dear Blog,
Meray sir mein intehai shadeed dard hai
This sounds like my daily way of starting things. But seriously I’m becoming kinda regular patient of these headaches.
And whenever there is a headache, I just do not remain in my limits, I start scolding everyone and pushing and tossing every single thing that comes my way.
GOD! Help me.
Depression
Frustration
Tension
This SHUN
And that SHUN
Life is miserable.
Furthermore, the ETI thing is also upsetting me. Rather it will be tons better if I say that the ETI is becoming the perpetual, depressing ETI factor.
I don’t want it to be there. But it is there.
Not only JUST THERE. But there with all its detailed, elaborative symptoms.
I need help.
But I can't find anyone to help me.
I need escape.
But I can't find the way to escape.
May be I'm not willing to escape.
One part of me wants to remain glued to the things the way they're. While the other one wants freedom, escape and identity.
Freedom from what Iqra?
May be from Iqra herself.
Or the way Iqra is.
Or something else.
I don't know.
I don't even want to know.
Escape and Identity:
The both are inter-related terms. My escape will provide me with my identity.
And my seaerch for my identity will motivate me to escape.
Mairaj-e-Insaniyat
Such a descriptive term.
I'm still confused what my mairaj is. May be I don't own / possess one.
May be I don't want to find one.
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