These days, my nick on MSN IM is
ME AND MY INSANITY
This is such a favorite one liner that it makes me feel euphoric all over.
Insanity - my most favorite word in the English dictionary.
Everything I do and cannot find a reason behind doing that gets linked to my insanity.
Kia hai .. I want to write but I can't.
It has been ages that I've written a good poem or something. I'm experiencing the most elongated writers' block these days. I haven't even updated / checked my MSN space for ages. Only because I don't have any good thing to post there. The song / ballad I write the day before was crappy. Even I scold myself for writing some thing so romantic. GOD! I'm becoming a typical Pakistani larkee. GOD! Help / save me.
Every night, I want to wrote something. I open my lil' brown book with a ball point in my hand and sit and think for hours. But the only word I end up writing is WRITERS' BLOCK all over my note book.
SHIT!
I'm extremely annoyed.
I want to go to seaside.
It is so extremely hot here.
And I'm as fed up as hell. Ek tu yeh PC ... GOD!
PS: I'm gonna end up being nuts completely for sure.
22 June 2005
Faix
Hum kay thahray ajnabi itni mulaqaatoun kay baad
Phir banain gay aashna kitni madaraatoun kay baad
Kub naxar mein aaey gi bay daagh sabxay ki bahar
Khoon kay dhabbay dhulain gay kitni barsaatoun kay baad
Thay buhat baydard lamhay khatum-e-dard-e-ishque kay
Thien buhat bay mehar subhein, meharbaan raatoun kay baad
Dil tu chaha buhat per shikast-e-dil nay muhlat hi na di
Kuch gilay shikway bhi kar laytay manajaatoun kay baad
Un say jo kahnay gaye thay, Faix jaan sadqa kiey
Un kahi hi rah gai woh baat sub baatoun kay baad
Matchless
No comparison possible
Out of this world
Marvellous
Thats all I can say about this greater than the greatest piece of poetry by Faix. I don't know why but I just feel like humming this ghaxal thesedays.
Resons:
Not known.
May be it has something to do with my present SOM (state of mind).
Dear Blog,
Meray sir mein intehai shadeed dard hai
This sounds like my daily way of starting things. But seriously I’m becoming kinda regular patient of these headaches.
And whenever there is a headache, I just do not remain in my limits, I start scolding everyone and pushing and tossing every single thing that comes my way.
GOD! Help me.
Depression
Frustration
Tension
This SHUN
And that SHUN
Life is miserable.
Furthermore, the ETI thing is also upsetting me. Rather it will be tons better if I say that the ETI is becoming the perpetual, depressing ETI factor.
I don’t want it to be there. But it is there.
Not only JUST THERE. But there with all its detailed, elaborative symptoms.
I need help.
But I can't find anyone to help me.
I need escape.
But I can't find the way to escape.
May be I'm not willing to escape.
One part of me wants to remain glued to the things the way they're. While the other one wants freedom, escape and identity.
Freedom from what Iqra?
May be from Iqra herself.
Or the way Iqra is.
Or something else.
I don't know.
I don't even want to know.
Escape and Identity:
The both are inter-related terms. My escape will provide me with my identity.
And my seaerch for my identity will motivate me to escape.
Mairaj-e-Insaniyat
Such a descriptive term.
I'm still confused what my mairaj is. May be I don't own / possess one.
May be I don't want to find one.
Meray sir mein intehai shadeed dard hai
This sounds like my daily way of starting things. But seriously I’m becoming kinda regular patient of these headaches.
And whenever there is a headache, I just do not remain in my limits, I start scolding everyone and pushing and tossing every single thing that comes my way.
GOD! Help me.
Depression
Frustration
Tension
This SHUN
And that SHUN
Life is miserable.
Furthermore, the ETI thing is also upsetting me. Rather it will be tons better if I say that the ETI is becoming the perpetual, depressing ETI factor.
I don’t want it to be there. But it is there.
Not only JUST THERE. But there with all its detailed, elaborative symptoms.
I need help.
But I can't find anyone to help me.
I need escape.
But I can't find the way to escape.
May be I'm not willing to escape.
One part of me wants to remain glued to the things the way they're. While the other one wants freedom, escape and identity.
Freedom from what Iqra?
May be from Iqra herself.
Or the way Iqra is.
Or something else.
I don't know.
I don't even want to know.
Escape and Identity:
The both are inter-related terms. My escape will provide me with my identity.
And my seaerch for my identity will motivate me to escape.
Mairaj-e-Insaniyat
Such a descriptive term.
I'm still confused what my mairaj is. May be I don't own / possess one.
May be I don't want to find one.
TOO HOT!
Karachi is blazing like hell?
I'm feeling down?
Today I'm experiencing such a worst head ache that I just feel like killing myself or banging my head against a solid rock wall. I've had 2 Dispirins but no effect.
May be it is just a single consequence of the scorching heat. Today I'd a class in the afternoon. It means that I left for college exactly at a time when the sun is the most unbearable. Secondly, it seemed to me today that the buses were on some kinda strike against the heat. I'd to stand / wait at the bus stops for 10 minutes.
Garmee mein kharay kharay mera dimaagh kharab ho gaya.
And now this headache is the result of that 10 minutes wait for the bus. It feels like it 'll kill me in a moment or two.
AAJ KA DIN KIASA RAHA?
Today was just a normal, routine, average day. Nothing splendid happened. The things like having a good laugh in OB is just a routine so I won't elaborate that much.
Besides, NB betrayed us today and instead of a 3 hour class he just took a 1/2 an hour one.
Kher, its all routine.
The only worth-mentioning thing, my dear blog, is some thing as said by MO in the OB.
We were discussing some theories on MOTIVATION. Now seriously speaking, it was fun besides its level of seriousness. So yes, I was telling you that while we were in the process of discussion, there was this, on the most TOP level of the motivational pyramid, this term SELF ACQUISITION.
MO described this SELF ACQUISITION as Maiarj. And yes, this is the truest possible Urdu word for this. Mairaj-e-Insaniyat, being more exact.
This term makes me think a lot.
Think about what I'm and what is my mairaj (if any).
I'm feeling down?
Today I'm experiencing such a worst head ache that I just feel like killing myself or banging my head against a solid rock wall. I've had 2 Dispirins but no effect.
May be it is just a single consequence of the scorching heat. Today I'd a class in the afternoon. It means that I left for college exactly at a time when the sun is the most unbearable. Secondly, it seemed to me today that the buses were on some kinda strike against the heat. I'd to stand / wait at the bus stops for 10 minutes.
Garmee mein kharay kharay mera dimaagh kharab ho gaya.
And now this headache is the result of that 10 minutes wait for the bus. It feels like it 'll kill me in a moment or two.
AAJ KA DIN KIASA RAHA?
Today was just a normal, routine, average day. Nothing splendid happened. The things like having a good laugh in OB is just a routine so I won't elaborate that much.
Besides, NB betrayed us today and instead of a 3 hour class he just took a 1/2 an hour one.
Kher, its all routine.
The only worth-mentioning thing, my dear blog, is some thing as said by MO in the OB.
We were discussing some theories on MOTIVATION. Now seriously speaking, it was fun besides its level of seriousness. So yes, I was telling you that while we were in the process of discussion, there was this, on the most TOP level of the motivational pyramid, this term SELF ACQUISITION.
MO described this SELF ACQUISITION as Maiarj. And yes, this is the truest possible Urdu word for this. Mairaj-e-Insaniyat, being more exact.
This term makes me think a lot.
Think about what I'm and what is my mairaj (if any).
BACK TO THE SURVIVAL ...
NET is fine.
I'm living again.
Whenever my net goes down / nuts, I come to know 'bout the problem that the addicts must be facing.
I know it might sound ridiculous but this the true-est reality.
Once you experience things, then only you come to know 'bout their HIDDEN REALITY which was hidden from you until you dived in the vast-est ocean of aagahi. Now I’m extremely sorry but I don't know how to say aagahi in English.
Kher, I've so much to say / justify this almost-addicted relationship I share with this dabba of mine. But rite now, it is so extremely hot. 21st June - the hottest day of the year. Uffffff! itni shadeed garmee thi / hai aaj poora din.
I'm nuts only 'cause of this unbearable, scorching heat.
The AC has gone nuts too.
I've had countless glasses of water by now nut still I feel as thirsty as a lost soul in Sahara.
Not to worry.
KHI is worse than Sahara today /these days.
Saree garmee.
I can’t sit in this oven (read my AC less room) for one more moment.
I’m leaving.
I’ll search the fridge for some cool think to drink.
Also I’m tired of keep staring at this too-narrow-to-look-upon-monitor of mine.
Now ab main baax laugoun ki tarah tu houn naheen k jinhain xara sa ehsaas naheen hota!
GOD! I mean why on this earth people stare at some one.
From where on the earth they find courage / himmat enough to stare at someone.
Seriously, I need an answer to this query o’ mine as soon as possible.
Bhaii, koi prblem hai tu moun say bool do BUT Khuda k liye don’t sate at me. I hate those I-never-want-to-take-my-eyes-of-you stares.
Kher …
As SBK like to put it, “ humara kia jaata hai”.
YES SBK. Humara tu kuch naheen jata but mera ghussa char jata hai aasman per or mera acha bhala mood off ho jata hai.
Kher, we Pakistanis are facing tons of problems and one of those problems is that 97% of Pakistanis (irrespective of their gender) love to stare at others for reasons known only to those 97% and not to the shareef 3% like me J
I need a chilled lemonade.
OR ..
I’ll de of this heat.
I'm living again.
Whenever my net goes down / nuts, I come to know 'bout the problem that the addicts must be facing.
I know it might sound ridiculous but this the true-est reality.
Once you experience things, then only you come to know 'bout their HIDDEN REALITY which was hidden from you until you dived in the vast-est ocean of aagahi. Now I’m extremely sorry but I don't know how to say aagahi in English.
Kher, I've so much to say / justify this almost-addicted relationship I share with this dabba of mine. But rite now, it is so extremely hot. 21st June - the hottest day of the year. Uffffff! itni shadeed garmee thi / hai aaj poora din.
I'm nuts only 'cause of this unbearable, scorching heat.
The AC has gone nuts too.
I've had countless glasses of water by now nut still I feel as thirsty as a lost soul in Sahara.
Not to worry.
KHI is worse than Sahara today /these days.
Saree garmee.
I can’t sit in this oven (read my AC less room) for one more moment.
I’m leaving.
I’ll search the fridge for some cool think to drink.
Also I’m tired of keep staring at this too-narrow-to-look-upon-monitor of mine.
Now ab main baax laugoun ki tarah tu houn naheen k jinhain xara sa ehsaas naheen hota!
GOD! I mean why on this earth people stare at some one.
From where on the earth they find courage / himmat enough to stare at someone.
Seriously, I need an answer to this query o’ mine as soon as possible.
Bhaii, koi prblem hai tu moun say bool do BUT Khuda k liye don’t sate at me. I hate those I-never-want-to-take-my-eyes-of-you stares.
Kher …
As SBK like to put it, “ humara kia jaata hai”.
YES SBK. Humara tu kuch naheen jata but mera ghussa char jata hai aasman per or mera acha bhala mood off ho jata hai.
Kher, we Pakistanis are facing tons of problems and one of those problems is that 97% of Pakistanis (irrespective of their gender) love to stare at others for reasons known only to those 97% and not to the shareef 3% like me J
I need a chilled lemonade.
OR ..
I’ll de of this heat.
Long live this mahan / greatest cable wala of mine. It has been 6 long good days that my net isn’t working. WOW. What a great experience. You come home from your school, completely exhausted and you don’t want to see anyone at your home. All you need is a steaming tea, your room with the door shut with a loud bang, and your PC with some extremely hard metal played on it!
Haa!
Sounds like a jannat on this earth. But kher humaray aysay naseeb kahan kay aysa kuch ho.
Right now too the net is as dead as hell. Today was Monday and keeping in view the fact that I do loathe Mondays and that today I’ve my school till 07:00 am. Kher, still today I had a great day at my school. Kafi din baad ek acha day at the school.
I’ve a problem. I’ve absolutely no idea what to do. I’m becoming a careless, freakin’, stupid, bakwas teen. No, seriously I’m. The genre of larkian I used to hate, I’m transforming in that genre. YUCK!.
Kher leave that now. Right now I’m in a confessions-are-the-hardest-thing-to-do-so-I’m-avoiding-‘em mood.
Studies:
Studies are just the way they ain’t supposed to be. I ain’t studying at all. I’m going to the school but not studying. I’ve to do Accounts stuff since I haven’t done that for ages. This weekend I had planned to finish the Final Accounts stuff but this weekend …. OMG! This weekend I had so much fun that I can’t even tell you my dear lil’ shweet blog.
But you see, this is the way things ‘re happening these days. I’m having fun, no doubt about that. Tons and loads of fun with all of my cousins etc etc but …
THIS BUT!
How much I hate this word of Angreexi language. This BUT is the root of all the troubles, I think I’ve said these same words before too. But seriously this is the GD fact and the GDI reality. I think instead of BUT, we all must always use AND.
Imagine your life without this FIAHAYC BUT.
I’m happy AND satisfied
INSTEAD OF
I’m happy BUT my heart is crying.
I love you AND want to be with you forever.
INSTEAD OF
I love you BUT I can’t be yours.
I’m Iqra Sajjad AND want to be the way I’m.
INSTEAD OF
I’m Iqra Sajjad BUT people don’t want me to be.
Xameen per Jannat ho jaey agar yeh ek lafx khatum ho jaey.
Ufffffff … I’m sounding like some one 100% nuts.
teri aankhoun kay siwa duniya mein rakha kia hai
This very line is the whole sole reason of my never-ending, un-conditional love for Faix.
Some days back I was looking at some one and …………..
FORGET ….
I’ve to be the one to be the one. WOW!
So yes, that someone was my very own reflection in the bathroom mirror and at that very moment, I think of these lines (as my ever-gorgeous, extremely magical, black, huge, almond shaped eyes were looking absolutely stunning then)
So here it is:
teri aankhoun kay siwa duniya mein rakha kia hai
Kuch naheen rakha. Yes I know that.
No.
The most non-coherent blog / piece of writing I’ve ever written.
Right now, I’m in a semi-numb state of helplessness. I’ve tried connecting my net 1536 times / ek haxar panch sau chatees dafa but it is still showing that REDER than the RED-EST cross on the task bar.
My blood pressure is rising every passing second and touching extremely dangerous levels. So it is better that I stop here. Save these writings and wait for the time when I can update my blog and go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
666
The number of the beast,
[Iron Maiden]
I’m listening to it right now. This song fascinates me like hell.
666 …
Just what I saw ….
666
WOW
These people are the pure magicians.
They know the art of stealing the hearts.
Art of mesmerizing.
Art of hypnotizing.
PS: One of my teacher also claims to know the magic stuff. LOL
ENDING ON A SERIOUS NOTE:
I’ve to replace my dabba / PC. It is showing every possible kind of error you can expect WINDOWS / Bill Gates to show you.
It needs money. I want a Black one this time. But paisay hi naheen hein :-(
Haa!
Sounds like a jannat on this earth. But kher humaray aysay naseeb kahan kay aysa kuch ho.
Right now too the net is as dead as hell. Today was Monday and keeping in view the fact that I do loathe Mondays and that today I’ve my school till 07:00 am. Kher, still today I had a great day at my school. Kafi din baad ek acha day at the school.
I’ve a problem. I’ve absolutely no idea what to do. I’m becoming a careless, freakin’, stupid, bakwas teen. No, seriously I’m. The genre of larkian I used to hate, I’m transforming in that genre. YUCK!.
Kher leave that now. Right now I’m in a confessions-are-the-hardest-thing-to-do-so-I’m-avoiding-‘em mood.
Studies:
Studies are just the way they ain’t supposed to be. I ain’t studying at all. I’m going to the school but not studying. I’ve to do Accounts stuff since I haven’t done that for ages. This weekend I had planned to finish the Final Accounts stuff but this weekend …. OMG! This weekend I had so much fun that I can’t even tell you my dear lil’ shweet blog.
But you see, this is the way things ‘re happening these days. I’m having fun, no doubt about that. Tons and loads of fun with all of my cousins etc etc but …
THIS BUT!
How much I hate this word of Angreexi language. This BUT is the root of all the troubles, I think I’ve said these same words before too. But seriously this is the GD fact and the GDI reality. I think instead of BUT, we all must always use AND.
Imagine your life without this FIAHAYC BUT.
I’m happy AND satisfied
INSTEAD OF
I’m happy BUT my heart is crying.
I love you AND want to be with you forever.
INSTEAD OF
I love you BUT I can’t be yours.
I’m Iqra Sajjad AND want to be the way I’m.
INSTEAD OF
I’m Iqra Sajjad BUT people don’t want me to be.
Xameen per Jannat ho jaey agar yeh ek lafx khatum ho jaey.
Ufffffff … I’m sounding like some one 100% nuts.
teri aankhoun kay siwa duniya mein rakha kia hai
This very line is the whole sole reason of my never-ending, un-conditional love for Faix.
Some days back I was looking at some one and …………..
FORGET ….
I’ve to be the one to be the one. WOW!
So yes, that someone was my very own reflection in the bathroom mirror and at that very moment, I think of these lines (as my ever-gorgeous, extremely magical, black, huge, almond shaped eyes were looking absolutely stunning then)
So here it is:
teri aankhoun kay siwa duniya mein rakha kia hai
Kuch naheen rakha. Yes I know that.
No.
The most non-coherent blog / piece of writing I’ve ever written.
Right now, I’m in a semi-numb state of helplessness. I’ve tried connecting my net 1536 times / ek haxar panch sau chatees dafa but it is still showing that REDER than the RED-EST cross on the task bar.
My blood pressure is rising every passing second and touching extremely dangerous levels. So it is better that I stop here. Save these writings and wait for the time when I can update my blog and go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
666
The number of the beast,
[Iron Maiden]
I’m listening to it right now. This song fascinates me like hell.
666 …
Just what I saw ….
666
WOW
These people are the pure magicians.
They know the art of stealing the hearts.
Art of mesmerizing.
Art of hypnotizing.
PS: One of my teacher also claims to know the magic stuff. LOL
ENDING ON A SERIOUS NOTE:
I’ve to replace my dabba / PC. It is showing every possible kind of error you can expect WINDOWS / Bill Gates to show you.
It needs money. I want a Black one this time. But paisay hi naheen hein :-(
TO MY ONLY READER
I'm lucky.
Reasons:
1. Some one reads my blog.
2. I've recently come to know THAT someone.
3. More recent is my knowledge 'bout that someone reading my blog.
4. That SOMEONE is / has become a very good friend of mine.
SEE! I'm dedicating this blog to you :-) so now you owe me a KIT KAT. LOL. JK.
Reasons:
1. Some one reads my blog.
2. I've recently come to know THAT someone.
3. More recent is my knowledge 'bout that someone reading my blog.
4. That SOMEONE is / has become a very good friend of mine.
SEE! I'm dedicating this blog to you :-) so now you owe me a KIT KAT. LOL. JK.
Just the routine me ....
I'm blogging.
But I ain't home.
My home's net is as dead as hell since the last Wednesday. *Offering my thanks to the PSOARB i.e. the cable wala*
I've saved tons of material on my MS WORD. But that all is at my home OBVIOUSLY. So right now, I just wanna escape that social circus I'm engaged (indeed we all 're 24/7) to ensure my misanthropism, pessimism and that state of want-to-hate-this-world-but-'m-just-bound-not-to.
Today I had a terrific day at my school. The 1st class went off thanks to SZ and the second one was kinda interesting 'cause we talked about cars.
CARS!
CARS! My passion number 3. I'm gonna marry someone who shares my taste in exotic cars (SUZUKI ALTO, BALENO, MEHRAN, MARGALLA, CULTUS holders ARE SIMPLY NOT WANTED :P ) and have / possess at leat 2 of 'em :-P.
LOL
Am I asking for too much? LOL. It's all funny.
Kher ....
Life is a blend of things. Things that are good and the things that are .... And we've to live through 'em all.
But I ain't home.
My home's net is as dead as hell since the last Wednesday. *Offering my thanks to the PSOARB i.e. the cable wala*
I've saved tons of material on my MS WORD. But that all is at my home OBVIOUSLY. So right now, I just wanna escape that social circus I'm engaged (indeed we all 're 24/7) to ensure my misanthropism, pessimism and that state of want-to-hate-this-world-but-'m-just-bound-not-to.
Today I had a terrific day at my school. The 1st class went off thanks to SZ and the second one was kinda interesting 'cause we talked about cars.
CARS!
CARS! My passion number 3. I'm gonna marry someone who shares my taste in exotic cars (SUZUKI ALTO, BALENO, MEHRAN, MARGALLA, CULTUS holders ARE SIMPLY NOT WANTED :P ) and have / possess at leat 2 of 'em :-P.
LOL
Am I asking for too much? LOL. It's all funny.
Kher ....
Life is a blend of things. Things that are good and the things that are .... And we've to live through 'em all.
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